Georgio.us

One of these days I want to commit a seemingly impossible, ingenious, but harmless crime… any suggestions?

Such humorously heinous crimes must meet the following criteria :

1. It has to be harmless

2. It has to have long-lasting consequences that can never be completely put to rest…

Off the top of my head, I was thinking of breaking into the white house completely undetected at 3:00am, and leaving a penguin figurine carved out of wood on the presidents desk - with a note attached that says

“You can never stop us. - Sincerely, the peoples republic of antarctica”

Imagine the ph33r.

They say the F-22 Raptor has the radar signature of a bumblebee.  I’m going to get rich by building a radar that detects bumblebees that fly Mach-1 or faster.

For those who haven’t heard,

“Omegle is a brand-new service for meeting new friends. When you use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous, although there is nothing to stop you from revealing personal details if you would like.”

Basically it’s like an instant IM with someone you don’t know.  I guess everyone is aiming to have the next “Web 3.0-ish” or “Twitter-like” experience.  After seeing this on reddit I decided to give it a shot, and after only one conversation i’ve decided I will never use it again.  Following is that one conversation :

Friggin Horndogs

Val bought me something i’ve always wanted but never been able to get for myself - a Siberian Husky.  It’s and female and she is a “Red Copper” husky and she is beautiful.  We haven’t thought of a name for her yet, but we will decide on one today.  We bought her here in Manila for much, much, MUCH cheaper than in the U.S. because she is a pure-bred Siberian Husky.  The flight home will cost some money but it’s surprisingly affordable, much cheaper than I was imaginining for a trans-pacific flight.  Check out pictures below and on my flickr photostream

Did he really not see this coming?  See the full RipOffReport Here.

Jack Mehoff RipoffReport

I’ve always hated Hillshire farms…mostly for their stupid commercials, which make all men look like retarded cavemen who sit around in their backyards doing drill-seargent-style chants about loving meat (gay!).  I’ve tolerated them until now due to their uncanny knack for combining pig pieces which are otherwise not fit for human consumption into delicious meaty treats, but this is just the last straw.  I actually had to create a new category here called “Un-Cool Stuff” just so I could make this post. We recently received something like this pictured below as a christmas present :

The Culprit

Looks totally AWESOME, right?  WRONG.  This is actually just basically an enlarged suicide pill in meat form.  I freaking ate this crap and was dry heaving for hours afterward.  This is basically the situation :

George : “Hey!… Sweet!…, a huge delicious meaty treat for me, thanks Hillshire Farms!”

Hillshire Farms : “Actually, that is a putrid log of pure evil that will have you throwing your guts up like you ate 9 year old spaghetti…with tequila worms instead of pasta…and the congealed blood of 100 clubbed baby seals instead of tomato sauce”

For those of you who don’t believe me or are otherwise skeptical, just look at the snapshot taken directly from their website (unaltered photo) :

Actual Nutritional Information of Hillshire Farms Sausage

If not for my extraordinarily resistant immune system I might not have survived, as it is, I got off with the loss of the contents of my stomach and a mere 3 hours of dry heaving.  Oh yea…and I was heaving so hard that all the blood rushed to my face and stayed that way for 3 days, oh yea…and my eyes were covered with blood for 2 weeks, I had to go to work looking like this :

Hillshire Farms Sausage Side Effects

I’m pretty sure at least half of my co-workers think i’m a heroin junkie.  Not to mention 30 Sunday-Preschool kids who are traumatized for life!

Like I said, Hillshire Farms Sausage SUCKS.  Don’t eat it, don’t be fooled.  A lesser man than I might have fallen to this putrescent crap-log in disguise.

Hillshire Farms Sausage will cause you to explode from every bodily orifice you posess.  Spread the Word.

1. Ownership is the paramount of motivational factors
The owner of a small business is the one with the most investment, he will sacrifice his time, money, and life to ensuring it’s success, with little regard to his current situation.  If you can generate this in each of your employees, your product does not matter.

2. Don’t wait for instruction
Learn to receive Vision from those whose ability to cast it is greater than your own.  Don’t waste time clarifying specifics which are not operation critical.  You will bog down your boss with 100 decisions that can and should have been made by his managers.  Creativity is diminished when the boss is forced to work out details and specifics of a process.  Your job is to receive the vision and make it happen, this includes troubleshooting it until it works.

3. Pride Breeds Stagnancy
Check your heart.  When you are asked to do something, and you give a reason for why it cannot be done, spend 60 seconds, in your own mind, and name the REAL reasons for why it cannot be done.

4. The origins of hate
We hate because it is something inside of us.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself.  What is not part of ourselves does not bother us.”

5. Sell Your Boss
Make them excited about it.  If you are pessimistic when your boss gives you an idea the HE is excited about, he will stop coming to you to make it happen.

6. Consider the Cost
Stop whining about overtime.  Everybody around you will tell you, you are working too much.  You will tell you that also.  Examine each of those people and their careers, ask yourself if the extra hours are worth the thought of being where they are in life.

7. Understand the Reality involved
Think of peoples families, futures, careers, etc.  Know that each and every one of your decisions directly impacts their paycheck and career.  Know that each and every minute you spend wasting time impacts their paycheck and career.